There. I said it. I love being the center of my boys world. They light up when they see me. I love hearing things like, “You’re the best mommy I ever had!” or “The best part of my day was playing with you” or “Can I sleep with you all night, mommy?” (The last one sounds cute, but let’s be honest. There may be sleeping going on but I will not be having it with him in the bed!)
Ok. So it had been a long day. This particular day my almost 4 year old son had been very persistently asking me for things. Incessantly asking me to cook things, “help” him, buy him things or DO things for him. Can I be honest? I sighed deeply and asked him, “can you stop asking me for things for one minute?” And he innocently answered, “No.” In his mind why wouldn’t he? I am his world. I do it all for him. I have proven myself time and time again to come through for him (I fail him too, but a child’s gracious love is an amazing thing to behold.)
The thought hit me as I lay in bed that night. It’s exhausting being someone’s world. It got me thinking about my relationship with God. A parent and child relationship should mirror Christ’s love for us. When I bring requests to God I have never heard a thunderous sigh. I have never been told, “Stop asking me for things/help/wisdom! It’s so hard to be your God!” He created me. And yes he is God,
but I can act just like a defiant strong willed child.
Then my mind went back to my own son. It isn’t that I mind doing the things for him. I love it. Making the sandwiches (So. Many. Freaking. Sandwiches. Did I mention he LOVES sandwiches?) I love putting his cute clothes in his dresser. I love packing a snack for him to eat at preschool. I love when he sneaks in bed early in the morning for snuggles and to warm up (Caz you know, in Belize we are freezing when it’s in the 50’s overnight 😂) I love when he asks me to watch him play in the sand. I love it. But sometimes when there are so many “Mom, can You…”‘s I just want some time. I just want to spend time WITH him not DOING for him. I wonder if that’s how God feels. Lately the song from Jesus culture has been coming to mind a lot. In the chaos and distractions. In the fast prayers of , “LORD give me strength and patience to survive these kids!” I hear “Come away with me…come away with me. It’s never too late for you.”
Being someone’s world is exhausting. So so true. I have no idea how someone could parent without the Holy Spirit. Without praying. Without taking parenting cues from their own relationship with God. Because I have all that and still think this is hard. So as exhausting as being their world is, it is also a privilege and an honor, and not one I want to take lightly. So he will continue ask me for everything because I am his everything. And that is ok. But instead of being frustrated maybe I should say “Come away with me. Let’s read some books and just BE.”