It was minutes before six and my kids were somehow still asleep, so I snuck out onto the porch to listen to the world as it woke up. I began to pray and asked God to use me, to change me. I didn’t want to be at home and fail at that. Something came to mind so quickly, I knew it had to be from God.
“You’re not failing. You’re struggling. There’s a difference.”
What a freeing thought! My struggle doesn’t equal failure. Maybe it’s the evidence that day after day I keep trying. Maybe this is God’s character being built up in me.
“But that’s not all! Even in times of trouble we have a joyful confidence, knowing that our pressures will develop in us patient endurance. And patient endurance will refine our character, and proven character leads us back to hope.” Romans 5:3-4
The other night I was speaking truths over my son after a long hard day. I told him he is smart, kind, handsome, special and loved by God. He replied with “God is my happy!”
In the midst of the struggle, I can have joyful confidence. In the middle of taking personal inventory and deciding some things need to go, I can have joyful confidence. Kids say it so simply and beautifully, maybe that’s why we’re supposed to have faith like a child. (Matthew 18:2-4)
So if my struggle doesn’t equal failure, it also means my struggle doesn’t automatically mean defeat. My struggle doesn’t sentence me to a season of gloom. I have have a joyful confidence within the struggle. In other words, “God is my happy!”