I am you.

Hey you. Yes you. The tired mama. The one who just made another cup of coffee. (If you’re breastfeeding, the mama feeling guilty for ANOTHER cup of coffee.. ) The mama who has piles of laundry everywhere. The mom with the wet laundry not in the dryer (in my case, not out on the line). The mama who can’t think of cooking dinner but has to start in the next half an hour or you’ll be behind…again. The mom feeling like you have nothing to give. The one looking around at your house saying, “How did I let the mess get this bad?” The one not only feeling tired but FEELING tired. I am you. You are my tribe. We are sisters on this journey called motherhood. We are constantly pouring from ourselves. Feeling empty from it all. There’s this verse that resonates with me…
“For I am already being poured out like a drink offering” 2 Timothy 4:6a
 I feel emptied out. Daily. Hourly. I need Jesus. I need Jesus and that ONE minute I give back to myself. It’s the song you put on to encourage your heart. The cup of coffee in the pretty mug. The face mask you put on (probably someone will wake up and need you or knock on the door…Murphy’s law?). The one minute you pray for extra strength. The minute you hide in the bathroom and breathe. The minute you cry after putting on a cartoon so your kid doesn’t see you upset. The minute you call your mom or someone you look up to and ask “how did you do this all??” Motherhood depletes you. And Jesus renews you. 
Motherhood depletes you. And Jesus renews you.
Without Jesus refilling you daily. Hourly. Every moment you will feel empty and angry. Bitter at every demand and need that is brought before you. But with Jesus you can give out of an abundance that only comes from him. A rest that only comes from the Holy Spirit being with you, even as you are completely exhausted physically. In the moments you have nothing left to give there will be grace.  I yell when I don’t want to. I complain. I’m impatient. Those are the moments I should have called on him. So today, dear one, cry out to Jesus. In your exhaustion, impatience, anxiety, fear, guilt, shame. You name it. He’s got you. His grace will sustain you. This won’t last forever. You know that in theory but it feels relentless. Because that’s what motherhood is. It’s relentless. No breaks, timeouts, or vacations for us. It’s always there. But this moment, this day won’t always be here. This feeling won’t last forever. It may even be gone tomorrow. Hold on mama. Cry out in those moments. There’s a worship song that’s been on my heart recently, here are the words…
You provide the fire
I’ll provide the sacrifice
You provide the spirit
I will open up inside
Fill me up God
Fill me up God
Fill me up God
Fill me up

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